Catch Up Day the Month in Review + #writemotivation Goals

I have been quiet for far too long.  Too many worries, too many hours at work, and not enough time given to revising and writing because I don’t want to look at my manuscripts.  I’m not just terrified of succeeding, I’m also a terrible procrastinator by sitting on Facebook way too much.  Most nights, that’s all I have the energy to do.

February has been a fun month (note the sarcasm there if you will).  It started off okay with me filling scripts and taking calls behind a nice, safe, counter, and just making people feel better.  Then, it happens.  I made one too many mistakes that could have hurt people.  End result, I was demoted; which put me into a bad funk.  Either way, things were not going to be good for me.

I was either going to be a sales associate stocking shelves and showing people around the store because they can’t, or won’t, read a sign, or end up on a front register where I will end up having a nervous breakdown because the vast majority of the customers have no idea what personal space is or how to keep out of my bubble.  If I can smell your breath and feel how hot it is, you are too damn close.  Too many want to lean in very close and talk in a normal voice or louder when asking a question about something that needs no privacy.  ”Where are the curtains?”

That everything that’s holy for a manager who not only knows me well but knows how well I work (we’ve worked together before).  I may be slow, but I get the job done and it looks professional and clean.  Instead of going to be a cash slave, he snatched me up and put me on the floor to help change modulars (displays), stocks shelves, and keep everything neat and clean on the shelves.  In Health and Beauty, you have to keep on top of the makeup department or it’ll turn into a nightmare fast.

Now, you can understand why I’ve been so quiet.  My work schedule changed, which has thrown off my routine.  I’m more tired in the evening due to the higher workload and mentally tired as well.  I am adjusting nicely and not quite so run down.  My days off are split, which makes adjusting harder, but still possible.  Thursdays I am on the run from noon until dinner time with therapy for my son, come home to cook, then I can sit down to relax and spend some time with the boy.  He comes first before all things.

Now that I have a shiny, new-er, computer that doesn’t bog down at the sight of YIM coming online, I can zoom through the email and other time-wasting activities to spend time working on my novels.  Speaking of working on novels, I’ve my goals to show off for #Writemotivation.

Yes, it is that time again.  At least now I have something to focus on and a very good reason to focus.

1) Revise chapter 8 of Society of Night and Lies and edit through chapter 15.

2) Consider names for book one of SoNL.

3) Try to work on Black Friday 2

4) Think of a name for Black Friday 2

I know, I’ve had these same four goals for the past two months.  In that time, I haven’t touched them at all.  I just explained why for this month, but I digress.  But, I will add one more goal to that list which will be more of a spare time thing.

5) Pre-write the Blogging from A to Z in April entries.  

I have a very good theme in mind and it is one I will enjoy writing about with examples to go with the terms used.  No, I won’t tell what it is, now.  You have to wait and see what I come up with.

Enjoy your month and the changes in my writing schedule once I get back to writing my posts again.

Long Time No Blog

To all who read my posts, I’m sorry I haven’t written anything in a while beyond the odd comment or two.  Not to mention, I totally flaked on the blog hop I was supposed to take part in.  Wednesday came and went before I realized it and I had no one to tag to carry the torch along.

While the excuse isn’t a good one, it is a valid one.  Thanks to changes in my schedule, working 10 to 7 each night and having my days off split, I’ve been too tired to think about writing anything.  Sure, I’m home before 7:30, 8 at the latest, but believe me when I say there is no sleeping in, not with a child that needs to be bustled off to school before my eyes are ready to open.

There is something else.  It took me these couple of weeks to realize it, but it has definitely slowed down my progress on revisingSociety of Night and Lies or touching Black Friday 2.  I am terrified.

What am I terrified of?  Success.  Plain and simple.  When I started making plans for an official launch of my first, and only, book, my ability to even consider writing above all else went away.  I’ll open the files but only get that far.  There’s no inspiration to do what I want to do.

I am simply afraid that no one will want to come and get a book let alone meet the person who wrote it.  I am terrified of the possible crowds (agoraphobic and claustrophobic) which will come by.  Mostly, I don’t want to endure the social fear of just sitting there with nothing to do except play on my phone because no one wanted a signed book.

Honestly, I have no idea how to go about getting the word out there’s a new author in Tulsa beyond me plastering Facebook with posts and Tweeting it at every chance while at work (which could get me fired if caught).  I could send out my card to local stations or even call them as well as asking at the many book shops here in town.

Getting the time off to do signings or interviews is nothing.  All I have to do is request the day and make sure my manager knows how important it is that I get these functions.  He’ll probably want to show up at one once he knows when.

Now, I have rebuilt my computer from the processor up.  The down time from that was nothing, so that won’t be considered at all.  Actually, Dave did the work, I did the loading once Windows was installed.  Still, it did take a day or two to get done.

Because of all of that, I haven’t posted.  I will be trying to get back on track as soon as I can though don’t expect a whole lot while I adjust to having split days off.  We’re resetting modulars, so there will be overtime coming as well.  Monday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays won’t see a lot of activity, but I’ll be switching Black Friday from Sundays to Fridays and put the erotica compilation on hold until things settle down and I get SoNL sent out to agents and publishers.

There’s still the query letter to write, a summary, and practice pitching it.  There’s no way I’ll have it ready for Pitch Madness when the next round starts, unless that gets postponed.  For now, I’m going to focus on revising SoNL and thinking of a name for the book itself.  The rest, well, can wait.

Long Running Comet for Saturday

Even though I get off early on Saturdays now, I am still posting this late at night.  I can honestly say I am doing things before writing my posts, but not all of it writing related.  I’m sure some of you can guess what I was doing.

I have looked at Way of the Comet recently and thought about the last post I had written about it.  I mentioned in it a creature that definitely a creation of my own and not mainstream at all.  Dungeons & Dragons doesn’t have a blip on this creature anywhere in its many books and sites.

It was even mentioned in one of the excerpts I posted; the kiyrie.

What is this creature you ask?

A kiyrie is a feline-like winged  creature capable of some shape changing and magic.  It wasn’t an animal that evolved like others.  Its very base form, the feline, was created by the spirit of the Earth when it finally became conscious and alive.  All the other creatures came from somewhere else and evolved over time, they weren’t true creations of the Earth.

The spirit of the Earth took bits from different wild cats and a few other creatures to form the first kiyrie (pronounced kee-EYE-ree).  At the time, it was simply a feline looking creature capable of a small amount of magic.  When Bast found it, she demanded that it be destroyed because other creations have tried to destroy the planet and they just got things back to a more natural state.  The short story of it is, the Earth said no and hid her creation.  Bast finds it.  They argue and the first kiyrie is cursed into being only simple wild animals for eternity.  The Earth, in a fit, makes a work around for her creature so they are able to shift between anthro and feral forms, but if they stay in their feral forms for too long, they will forget themselves and stay feral until they die.  Cue a few Fate planned acts and they eventually gain wings, more magic, ad develop their own society.  That’s the long and short of it.  I have stories of each ‘evolution’ they’ve gone through to get where they are in current Haven history.

In Way of the Comet, they make an appearance when Larana is captured by the enemy and force shifted so they can keep her caged for their own nefarious deeds.  The griffon she speaks to in the camp is a kiyrie that has lost many of his memories from being in one form too long.  Thanks to the higher functioning griffon mind, he hasn’t lost all, just a good part until he is forced to shift again into a feral state.  Then, he may be lost forever.

Now, the kiyrie, whether trapped in a different form other than their original or free, they probably won’t play a big part in the story itself.  They may give Larana some insights and a stepping stone to get her closer to her goal before it’s too late.

For now, she needs to get out of her cage and it looks like she may have to convince Hawk to help her and organize the rest of the beasts so they can escape.  Slavery is a bad thing and she does not like being sold and stolen.  Which could prove to be an interesting scene or two before the cavalry arrives.  I know there’s going to be a very mad lion to deal with the canines of that camp.

The ideas are coming to get through this block, but so far, nothing is really coming together enough to be solid and good for the story.  We’ll see what happens when I finally move this story closer to the top of the list.  Who knows, the muse just may decide to focus on this story for a while after I finish revisions on others.

Late Furry Friday

Sorry this post comes late, but I wasn’t able to get in and settle to write anything until late last night (Friday).  Work has me leaving at 7PM and fortunately, mom was wanting some all you can eat fish; which I was craving as well.  We did go out for dinner, but wouldn’t you know it, they ran out of the hand battered fish for the all you can eat at 6:30 so we had to make do with something else from the menu.  We’re such huge regulars at this place that we didn’t mind and had a good dinner while we playfully teased our server and the night manager.

Because we are regulars at Village Inn, they proved how well they know us by getting our drink orders without asking.  All they did was make sure of what Colin wanted.  He changes it up with each visit but his drinks are usually one of three things.  His normal meal has also changed but they took it in stride and made it extra special good for him.

I love our normal server at Village Inn.  While she does keep up a professional attitude, she’s funny, vibrant, and willing to go that extra mile, like bringing my mom and me a pitcher of unsweet tea to refill our glasses.  We drink that much tea when we’re there.  She also puts a couple extra lemons in knowing we love lemon in our tea.  She’s taken the time to memorize our usual orders, including Dave who doesn’t come in as much as mom and I do.

It’s people like her that I put into my stories.  Though the main character I associate with her is in another book (being written right now), I keep certain aspects of her for others stories, like the young druid in one of the short stories in my erotica compilation.  The kitsune she’s seeking is based on someone I knew as a child and someone I know online now whose character this fox is based on.

I’ve encountered a block on the story with the druid and kitsune.  He’s supposed to be playing tricks on her while she follows his trail.  Along the way, it’ll be him that falls for her.  She, Leofa, won’t be in love with him, but she will be infatuated.  Her heart belongs to the Nature goddess who currently remains unnamed so their relationship won’t go the same way as others have in this set.

Another story will take things in reverse, in a way.  I haven’t thought of a working title for it, yet.  This one has the dragon/elf taurs. (I know, very difficult to imagine let alone conceive)  This story will start off with the sex scene then the couple will have to deal with the consequences of it when they reach their new home and wait to be paired with their future ‘mates’.  It won’t go well for them socially, but they will stay together even though they’re community will try to force them apart.

I’m still thinking of other stories to add into this compilation to make a total of ten.  I was thinking of doing a story with my elf character Jade.  She’s younger, a little more naive and trying to forget the bloodshed and lost comrades in a war between two tribal kingdoms she fought in.  This would be the story where she meets to one man who stole her heart and helped her heal emotionally from the war and find a new home among the folca in the high mountains.  It could be an interesting story if bittersweet in its own way.  When she married, she was still considered young by elf standards.

I don’t know.  We’ll see how the muse dances when I finally finish revisions on SoNL.  That one is my primary focus for now.

Thursday is for Therapy

Not for me, oddly enough, but for my son.  He’s not your normal ADHD kid with enough energy to run a small city if he were running on a treadmill hooked to a generator.  No, he has some other issues knocking about in that blond head of his to keep things interesting.

He has behavioral issues which drive poor unsuspecting teachers mad.  These same issues make for tense parents and grandmother.  My mom, Dave, and I cringe when the phone rings during school hours.  We just know he has done something that requires them to call us to come get him.  This was very true in kindergarten, first grade, and part of second grade.  He spent time on suspension until we started poking the school faculty into following our request.

Jackson Elementary was not the school for Colin.  They were extremely slow in doing their own testing after we filled out the paperwork.  While they wandered around figuring things out, he was ostracized by not just the students in his class, but by his teacher as well.  This happened in Kindergarten.  No wonder he needs therapy now.  I mean, what teacher, in their right mind, ostracizes a child, knowing he cannot help what he is doing, and encourages the other kids to do the same.  If another kid started something, naturally Colin would react, but he would get all the blame.  The other kid is given a pat on the head and left to do what they wanted.

Colin was labeled a bad kid because the school took so long trying to get things set up.  We, his parents, had no idea who to talk to or where to go to have him tested.  The counselors could not, or would not, tell us anything.  He may not have been the best student, but he aced his academic testing at the end of the year and they gave him nothing but grief.  Jackson is a school which should be closed down and the teachers sent back to school.

My mom and I decided to put him in another school.  Skelly, his current school, is just across the street from us; a five minute walk.  First grade was rough, but the school started pointing us in the right direction once they saw what he was like.  Other circumstances also had us seeing the proper doctors and putting him on medication.

Now, almost three years later, Colin has blossomed in so many ways.  His speech is clear, he can form complete thoughts and articulate as if he had never had problems before.  His handwriting is what is difficult for him now.  We could see the changes within the first few months of speech therapy.  Each of the therapists he’s had have done a wonderful job and he enjoys these sessions.

Occupational therapy took a bit longer to get started.  The first assessment he had shown problems, but it took a bit more paperwork from not just us, his family, but observations from his teachers, too.  His OT sessions have him working on gross and fine motor skills, things we never really saw until they were pointed out.  Thanks to his first OT therapist, we were able to get him over that final hurdle of potty training.  Those last steps were the hardest and he’d use bathroom accidents as a way to go home early.

His second grade teacher, wonderful woman who did everything she could to help, would not allow him that luxury.  Unless it was a bad accident, he put on a change of clothes we kept handy and stayed the whole day.  Also, during second grade, he had a change of medication which turned out to be the right mix and dosage, which made things much easier on all of us.

Looking at him today, I can see he isn’t the child who skipped ahead of me when I’d walk him home from school back in Jackson.  He is a special little boy.  He’s made so many breakthroughs in this year alone; the one I am most proud of being the three friends that he has come looking for him almost every day.  As much as I love my boy, he needed kids his age to interact with instead of a video game or the television.

Now, we’ve added in Behavioral therapy.  This is making for a long day for me.  Long enough that I must have the day off.  It just wouldn’t be worth the effort to go in for a few hours leave for four or five hours then come back for one hour and go home.  Wouldn’t be fair to anyone.  Due to circumstances at work that have temporarily taken me out of the pharmacy, I have requested Thursdays off for therapy and doctor visits.  As much as I hate to split my days off, I need to for my little boy.

Seeing him improve, I wonder if I should seek psychological help for my own mental problems.  I’m not bipolar, or something like that, but thanks to the torture I endured in school and what my ex put me through for years, I’m not exactly the most stable person.  Working on the registers on the front end is a nightmare; one I care not to repeat for the safety of the customers.  Claustrophobia, agoraphobia, probably a few others, maybe even a dash of ADD, needs to be addressed.  With all these characters talking in my head, some more demanding than others, multiple personality disorder isn’t something I need be concerned about until they decide to take over all at once.  (Just kidding)

Where, or when, I should work those sessions in is beyond me unless they can do after hours or Sunday visits.  Somehow, both seem very unlikely.  Good thing I do have my writing to keep things straight in my head.  One day, I’ll write a story all about Colin.  Who knows, that could launch things into a whole new life for me.

Yes, therapy is good.  Very good.

Tuesday’s Society Thoughts #urbanfiction #fiction #fantasy #amwriting #edit

I’m going to keep this rather short this week.  Due to a change in my work hours, trying to write a normal post takes more effort than I can give.  I may go in to work later, but that also means I don’t get home until later which makes everything else done later.  These posts come too close to bedtime for the time being.

Yes, I know I can write them as soon as I log in, but I have my habit set and changing that will take time.  So will adjusting to these later hours.

I need to make SoNL my obsession if I am to get anything at all done with the editing and revising process.  It needs to be the only thing I think about when I’m not thinking about my son and the bills I need to pay.

Thanks to a friend of mine over on FA, I have a way to bring more clarity to my characters.  Not just in Society of Night and Lies, but in all my stories.  This includes my cliché ridden novel in progress, Way of the Comet.  It’s quite simple, too.

What I found is one of those meme things you see traveling around the internet.  In the furry fandom, they do a lot of traveling; some more than others.  This one is a bit long, but it asks for details to give someone a good picture of what their personality is like.  The characters I’ll be using it on first will be in SoNL.  They need the most clarification; most especially Sabrina and Jason.

Though it isn’t seen now, they will build a relationship that goes beyond friendship, but not before they see it ripped to shreds in book two, and built back up and flourishing in book three once Jason realizes a few things.  There is a lot of time passing between the three books in which I’ll be doing all of this.

Between book one and book two, there will be a year or two.  Between book two and three, about eight years or so and things have changed as far as their personal relationship goes and how she is seen by her boss (Mindy’s husband) and others.

With this meme, I’ll interview each character.  I may post Sabrina, Jason, and Mindy’s completed memes.  But then again, you all may get to see each of these characters.  Dean, the main antagonist, you’ll love to hate as much as I so.  With Gerin, the man who took Sabrina in, gave her an education and encouraged her to do her best in everything, including killing, you may feel some pity for him, but then again, you may dislike him for the same reasons Sabrina does.

Have you found ways to make your characters seem more real?

Black Friday Update #fiction #fantasy #amwriting #blackfriday

I was supposed to get some writing done on Black Friday 2 and come up with a title other than Black Friday 2.  Sadly, that did not happen during the month of January.  There are good reasons why; such as a sick child, changes at work, and the fact that January in the pharmacy is extra busy with everyone’s insurance changing and resetting.  I was coming home to tired to concentrate on anything let alone edits and writing.

Nothing got done.  Period.

But, that leaves me with all of February to try and make some headway on this book.  I’m going to try, but Black Friday 2 isn’t at the top of the writing priority list.  I’ll try to get something written, but don’t count on it.  Karina and her trials and tribulations will have to take a back seat until the primary work in progress is ready.

Thinking about their current situation, there is plenty to write about.  They just found an abandoned resort to take shelter in.  The possibilities are endless on what can happen.  I’ve thought of several already then Karina will have to finish her training so she can start returning the balance to her people, both new and old therians.

Still, don’t expect me to have much to say until SoNL is ready for pitching and the query letter stage.  I still need beta readers and critique partners to find the spots I’ve missed. Leave a comment or email me at sabbath(dot)silverclaw{at}gmail.com if you are interested.  I need at least ten in order to have enough eyes reading the manuscript.

Don’t forget to help Light of the World Church.  Purchase Black Friday and the royalties I make from the sales will go toward helping Light of the World Church help feed the needy and homeless.  Remember, the ones we help could be your family or friends.

Sunday Excerpt #fiction #fantasy #amwriting #excerpt

This has been a week of hardship for me.  Due to a couple of mistakes I had made, I was demoted from Pharmacy technician to regular associate.  This means I am a normal cashier with no protective counter between me and the mobs of idiots people that want to check out.  There is an upside to this.  The chances are good that the assistant manager over consumables may snatch me up to use as a floor stocker so I won’t have to stand a register all day long.  Either way, it will be days filled with aches and pain.

Because of what happened last week, my posts this week have suffered and I just barely managed to promote the Getting to Know You Blog Hop.  I did well enough that many people stopped by to see what I and the others were about and left pleased.

This week’s excerpt comes from one of my very first stories ever written.  A little digging from my mom produced the ratty old pages filled with bad handwriting of a story about a pony who saved her friends from a fate living as statues in a forbidden forest.  Yes, this is very closely related to the old My Little Pony show that aired back in the 80s.  I was a huge fan of them at the time and had amassed a decent collection of them.

With that in mind, I’ll let you decide if it is cringe worthy or not.  Just remember, this was written long ago.

The path went deep into the shadows of the ancient forest.  Within mere feet, it disappeared among the close tree as it wound its way to some mysterious place.  Only a few shafts of sunlight reached through the foliage to cast pinpricks of light on that path but they did little to make the darkness retreat.

Clearly imprinted on the soft dirt of the fading path, hoof prints of four ponies were made out, each distinctive to Starlight as she lowered her head to look at each one more closely.  Nervously she dug at the dirt with her own hoof, too afraid of the deep green unknown that was the forbidden forest.  She could feel the old magic that dwelled within and knew without a doubt that it was stagnant.  The very feel of the old magic made her horn itch in a way that told her she was in danger and to turn back or else she’d suffer in the same way her friends would.

Her thoughts kept drifting back to their taunts.  Deep in her own heart, she knew they were right.  She was terrified.  Fear welled up in her and took a choke hold just thinking of what was happening to her friends.  Her hooves were frozen to the path and her hocks knocked together with her shuddering.  Never before had she felt such a deep seated fear in her life.  Nothing had gripped her so tightly and nothing ever would.  

Without a second thought she backed away from the ominous darkness and shrunk away from the rolling waves of old magic as they reached through the tree to her soul.  The ghostly hands of the victims who entered before called to her, leaving echoes in her mind which made her whinny in fear and rear up to paw at the air before turning and dashing back to the one place she felt safe; the sun filled glade she called home and could almost feel the gentle brush of the flower covered vines the draped down from willow branches beside the calm waters of the river.

An evil laughter chased her as she ran away, taunting her for leaving her friends behind.  Suddenly, she skidded to halt, landing on her rump as she stopped in the dirt.  ”No!” Starlight shouted at the vile laughter then swallowed the bile rising in her throat.  ’I can’t leave them in here.’ she told herself.  ”I won’t leave my friends!”  She cried at the top of her lungs as she sat there in the dirt collecting herself and what little courage she had in her heart.

Panting, she closed her eyes and concentrated on her friends, listening for them, yet knowing they were too far away to be heard.  Above the laughter, she detected a single note; her friend’s talent reaching to her through the magic and the trees of the forest.  As faint as what it was, she felt that singular note reaching for her.  Just as she focused on that note, it stopped, leaving a deathly silence behind it and a satisfied chuckle within the imagined laughter that chased her.

Gathering up her courage and standing, Starlight took a deep breath, turned around, Then she marched one slow step at a time toward the forest.  Once again, she stopped at the edge of the shadows marking the boundary of the forest.  Holding her head high, she called to her friends deep inside.  ”I’m coming for you!  I’ll save you…” then more softly as she lowered her head and took that first step in, “some how.”