Tuesday’s Society Thoughts #urbanfiction #fiction #fantasy #amwriting #edit

I’m going to keep this rather short this week.  Due to a change in my work hours, trying to write a normal post takes more effort than I can give.  I may go in to work later, but that also means I don’t get home until later which makes everything else done later.  These posts come too close to bedtime for the time being.

Yes, I know I can write them as soon as I log in, but I have my habit set and changing that will take time.  So will adjusting to these later hours.

I need to make SoNL my obsession if I am to get anything at all done with the editing and revising process.  It needs to be the only thing I think about when I’m not thinking about my son and the bills I need to pay.

Thanks to a friend of mine over on FA, I have a way to bring more clarity to my characters.  Not just in Society of Night and Lies, but in all my stories.  This includes my cliché ridden novel in progress, Way of the Comet.  It’s quite simple, too.

What I found is one of those meme things you see traveling around the internet.  In the furry fandom, they do a lot of traveling; some more than others.  This one is a bit long, but it asks for details to give someone a good picture of what their personality is like.  The characters I’ll be using it on first will be in SoNL.  They need the most clarification; most especially Sabrina and Jason.

Though it isn’t seen now, they will build a relationship that goes beyond friendship, but not before they see it ripped to shreds in book two, and built back up and flourishing in book three once Jason realizes a few things.  There is a lot of time passing between the three books in which I’ll be doing all of this.

Between book one and book two, there will be a year or two.  Between book two and three, about eight years or so and things have changed as far as their personal relationship goes and how she is seen by her boss (Mindy’s husband) and others.

With this meme, I’ll interview each character.  I may post Sabrina, Jason, and Mindy’s completed memes.  But then again, you all may get to see each of these characters.  Dean, the main antagonist, you’ll love to hate as much as I so.  With Gerin, the man who took Sabrina in, gave her an education and encouraged her to do her best in everything, including killing, you may feel some pity for him, but then again, you may dislike him for the same reasons Sabrina does.

Have you found ways to make your characters seem more real?

One word... Erf!

Erf!  That is all that can be said at this point.  Erf because I only opened my doc file on Society of Night and Lies during my nine days of no work.  All I did was just look at it and pondered other things.  Erf because for the last two days, I have come home late enough I can barely check messages while eating dinner before going to bed.

Yes, half way through the month and not a stitch done to either book I made goals for.  Only one I can blame is myself.  I let distractions such as Facebook get the better of me.  Naturally, family does come before writing and the time spent with my son was well worth it.  But, frankly, I should be flogged for just opening a file and not doing anything with it when I should have been working on it.

Now, as mentioned in an earlier post, instead of re-writing an entire chapter giving some background on the MC and a few good reasons for why she left, I was thinking of making most of that history internal thoughts and leaving more pertinent information in the dialog so Jason doesn’t know everything about her but enough to make him curious.

As advised in one of the craft books I’ve read, there is a part dedicated to Mindy and why she’s messed up in the affair.  Jason should also get a little bit of time in the spotlight as well giving some history, which, thankfully, I can find easily in his creator’s short stories and character history from RP logs.  I have a lot of role play logs with him.  :D  Not to mention, I can ask the creator, too.

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I’m sure several who read my crazy ramblings are also aware that the A to Z Blog coming in three and a half months.  They’ve already announced the new team members who will be keeping track of things and making sure people follow the rules.  Since I enjoyed the month of alphabetical blogging last year, I’m going to do it this year.  Except this time, I’m taking a few ideas from others and preparing the posts before hand.  This way, research can be done, pictures found, and if I end up having to work late or get distracted by Facebook again or even editing/writing, I’ll have something to show for that day.

I won’t reveal what my theme will be this year, but I can say it will be interesting and informative to many out there.  It’s even one of my favorite things to do.  If we’re lucky, there will be some bonus to go along with the posts.  >;)

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Even though I am in the middle of editing Society of Night and Lies, I am seeking people willing to critique and beta read.  I am catching many errors on my own, but fresh eyes will find so much more.  I need responses before February 15th for any who are interested.  I am seeking at least 10 to critique and beta read but no more than 15 tops.   Live Stream or even a YIM chat room will be set up weekly for us to meet and give feedback so there won’t be a huge rush on getting through the novel.

I also would like to ask some help to pare down the opening a bit.  The first 150 words ends in the middle of the sentence you meet the MC in her setting.  I need that and perhaps the first couple of chapters for #pitchfest which I’m sure is coming up soon.  The sooner, the better on this request, please.

Those who do volunteer will receive acknowledgement when published.  You can give me a pseudonym or even your real name for the page I’ll be listing these on.  It’ll be more than just a single sentence to cover everyone.

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I’ve seen these all over and may be participating in one towards the end of this month to help promote Society of Night and Lies.  What is it you ask?  A blog tour, or blog hop if you prefer.

#Writemotivation and the A to Z Blog Challenge are along those same lines.  I was thinking of hosting one myself.  I am being very serious about this.  All I need are people willing to respond this post, either in the comments here, Twitter, or even Facebook, or where ever else you may see it pop up (I have a lot of forums I visit), and we’ll go from there.  I am thinking of having it Fantasy themed, but I am willing to see what suggestions come up from my more experienced readers.

Who knows, maybe the people in my target audience will like what you got and start collecting your books as well.  It is well worth the try.

Progress on Society

No, not today’s society.  No one wants to listen to my opinions on the atrocious degradation of today’s society.  We’ll save that for a very special post on another blog that few will ever see.  Nah, the society in question tonight is Society of Night and Lies.  (Honestly, I still need to come up with a book title. That’s the trilogy title.)

Since the weekend I have pondered how I should re-write chapter eight.  This chapter is Sabrina tells her past to Jason.  For a while I have asked myself ‘Why would she be telling anyone that much about her past?  That wasn’t what he was wanting to know.’  Then, last night, while I am letting my mind relax by playing a few rounds of Jewels Legend in bed and the idea comes to me.  Instead of totally re-writing this chapter, change it so there are internal thoughts which will tell the reader the how and why, but have her only give the more pertinent information in the dialog of their conversation.

Sabrina has kept her past a secret for a while.  There’s no real need to blab about it to someone she’s only known part of that time.  Sure, she trusts Jason, but she isn’t sure where his allegiances lie because the Claw and Fang want him dead and they want her to do the deed.  For all she knows, he could be working for another, similar, group and she has been targeted by them.  While possible, nothing has been said about it in the past and he’s acting pretty secretive as well.

There’s a twist to add into the story.  I’ll have to think about that while I go over chapter eight.

Which brings me to something else.  I need to download and re-read the short stories the creator of this world and owner/player of the character Jason Foxworth (who is a totally awesome guy, good looking and very talented).   He will be getting the main mention when it comes time to publish.  This is his world and I’m only borrowing it for this trilogy.  I’m just glad he’s allowing me to use it and publish.

Back to the original topic…

This will definitely work this chapter, but I’ll have to see if it’ll work for the others where she’s going on about her past.  Only this one has any real information that useful. The rest, I think, can be cut down to a paragraph or two and worked into the ongoing story.

Be honest, does this sound like a workable solution to prevent a lot of re-writing?

On a side note, tomorrow, the 9th, is my 41st birthday.  It’s amazing I managed to live this long without something going horribly wrong considering the accidents I’ve had in youth.  So, if there’s no post tomorrow, you now know why.

Week in Editing #amwriting #writemotivation #fiction #edit #sonl

It has been a busy week.  This past weekend was rather lazy except for the work I did on my Sunday post.  That post was an accomplishment in itself.  I turned two paragraphs into a page, maybe a page and a half, which sounds and definitely works better with the scene.

But, because of that huge revision of the scene, what is now chapter eight will become part of chapter seven.  It continues the conversation, but it’s being shortened from three or four pages down to a page or so.  If Sabrina is part of a secret society, or once was, she wouldn’t be divulging quite so much information, even to someone she considers a friend.  Mindy, her best friend in the Society, even though she doesn’t fully trust her at this point, knows all about what is going on.  Actually, she knows more, but I didn’t say that.

I offer this comparison for everyone.  First, the original two paragraphs:

“You follow me, drug me, twice, and now have me captive. I’m not sure I can trust you, right now, Sabrina, but…” and he let the pause linger while he chose his words very carefully, “… since I don’t have much of a choice, I’ll listen then decide later if I believe you or not.”

With a nod, Sabrina said, “That is all I ask. So that you fully understand why I am doing what I’m doing, I’ll start at the very beginning. It all began during the Great War, when I was just a little girl of about eight years or so…”

Now, the link to the revised conversation; http://candacegauger.wordpress.com/2012/10/21/sunday-excerpt-excerpt-amwriting-fiction-sonl/.  To get the full conversation (most of it anyway) you can find it at this link; http://candacegauger.wordpress.com/2012/10/14/.

These are set to open in another window so you can see and compare better.

To me, the revision sounds better.  Jason isn’t giving in too easily and Sabrina doesn’t sound like a pushover.  She is given a bit more attitude and shows she cares for him as a friend and wants to see him live.  It also shows she’ll do what she needs to do to make sure he understands.

I can sum up the current chapter for the curious.  It tells about Sabrina’s youth at the end of the Great War, how she lost all but her cousin Shyleah, and entered the Claw and Fang where she learned to be an assassin before meetings her various beaus.

The first draft had her with seven boyfriends; some which became husbands if briefly.  That’s way too much for such a young lady who doesn’t have a sex fetish or anything  Sabrina is a proper lady in many ways.  The seven were trimmed down to three which were spaced further apart to give her ‘healing time’.

There’s no way she’d talk that much.  She’d keep it short and to the point and give Jason just enough information, plus let him know of the characters he needs to worry about other than his twin brother, Devin.  Which reminds me, I need to make a small revision to add a talk with Gerin where he tells her the particulars of her mission to get her cousin back alive.

There’s a lot to add and change in the next to last draft.  If I can get a few people in my NaNo group to do a full edit to point out areas needing further work and suggestions to tighten and polish it up, I’ll be ready to start querying agents.  (That’s next year at the earliest.  March, I hope)

Sunday Excerpt #excerpt #amwriting #fiction

After the long and icky week I’ve had, I finally have the energy to do some editing.  This excerpt is what editing I’ve done.  But, it will finish chapter six of Society of Night and Lies. 

Going through all of these posts to put them in my file, I noticed some discontinuity.  That will be fixed soon.  For now, enjoy this final portion of Chapter Six.  Looks like Sabrina may be suspecting something about her friend, Reyna.

The way things were looking; it would be a while before she could feel the touch of her husband’s hands on her fur. The soft sigh, though barely heard by anyone, was interrupted by a familiar laugh. One eye, then the other opened to see Reyna standing there beside her table with her arms crossed and the quirk of a grin teasing at her muzzle. A smile slowly crawled across Sabrina’s muzzle as she motioned to the seat across from her with a nod of her head then chuckled softly. “You’re late.”

“Sorry, Ree, I was detained by Felix. He was trying to follow me.” She said while she took a seat and beckoned the waitress over. “A cherry soda and some fries, please.” She said to the rabbit waitress then, after she was out of earshot, she spoke to Sabrina. “He’s very worried about you. If you don’t talk to him soon, he is going to come looking for you.”

Sighing, Sabrina nodded. “I can’t contact him right now. It is far too dangerous. If anyone from the society were to find out about him…” If she wasn’t worried before, she was definitely worried now. “Dean is already dogging my tail to see what he can find out. I won’t be surprised if he already suspects I faked Jason’s death.”

Green eyes went wide at the mention of the wolf’s name, and then Reyna leaned across the table and asked in a conspiratorial whisper, “Dean’s involved?”  Then settling back into her seat, she continued. “Just great. We’re gonna to have to work fast to make sure he doesn’t discover the truth.”

“I know. Trust me, I know.” Sabrina rolled her eyes. “I could poison him and it all now, but…”

“But what?” Reyna inquired while she eyed her friend curiously.

Sabrina shook her head and sighed.  ”He probably already expects that AND everyone would know who did it.  From what I understand, I was the only one who specialized in poisons.”

“Ah, I see,” Reyna said as she slowly nodded.  ”You’re not the only one… I mean anyone could have studied as well just not… as much as what you did.”  She suddenly looked nervous after cutting her initial comment short.

Sabrina almost missed that sudden switch and the flash of expression in her friend’s eyes.  Eyeing her casually, she nodded and leaned back in her seat to watch her more carefully while they talked.  ”I also learned that he has some extra pull with Gerin.  The old yote isn’t young anymore.  He needs to train someone to take over when he retires.”  If he manages to retire Sabrina thought to herself.

Suddenly, a sly grin appeared on the Rey’s muzzle, and then she chuckled. “He does. Does he? That just might work in your favor, Sabrina.”

Curious, she asked her friend, “Oh? What do you have in mind, Rey?”  The ridge above her eye lifted as an ear swiveled back.  Though it had been still until now, her tail started to curl slowly along the side of the booth.

“Think Ree. If we sabotage his reputation, make him look real bad in front of the others and Gerin…” she suggested, leaving the rest hanging to be picked up by the suddenly churning thoughts of her friend.  Something in her voice hinted that she knew more than she admitted.

Catching on, Sabrina’s eyes went wide for a moment as her lips formed an ‘O’ shape.  A guarded smile formed though her eyes showed more darkness simmering in their depths. “I see-ee-ee. That won’t be easy to do, but it could be fun. If we play our cards right, Gerin’ll order him killed after kicking him out. I like it. I like it.”

“I see the gears spinning now.”  Reyna giggled while she leaned on the table again and casually cupped her jaw in her hands. “So, tell me, Ree, how are we going to accomplish that?”

With eyes sparkling with mischief, Sabrina smiled and leaned a little closer to her friend. “A very good question, my dear, but one I’ll enjoy setting up.” Then, her expression changed to one more serious as she settled back in her seat. “First, we have to see about keeping a certain fox from being killed. To do that, I need that background check you, and Felix, did for me.”

Perking her ears, Reyna sat up and cocked her head to one side then asked, “Why did you want to me to dig around so much on this one person?”  While she was curious, fear was welling up inside.

Sabrina saw something, in her friend’s eyes that seemed to confirm a few suspicions.  Until she had actual proof, she couldn’t do anything.  Gauging her words carefully, she spoke, “Nothing you need to be concerned with, Rey.  Let’s just say I need to make sure of a few things before I go another step.”

*Gulp* Reyna could only stare at Sabrina wondering what the feline woman knew.  Slowly, she nodded and relaxed, accepting the fact that her friend is being paranoid and nothing more.   “I still say you’re crazy, Sab.”  Reaching into her jacket, she pulls out a manilla envelope and drops it on the table between them.

“Never claimed to be anything else,” she said.  A smirk curled across her muzzle as she picked up the packet then spent a minute peering at the contents; even pulling out random papers before tucking it under her arm.  ”Very good.  Definitely worth the wait.”

Reyna let out a huge breath and slumped in her seat.  It looked as though she had been worried about the contents.  ”Anything else you need?”  She meant to be sarcastic, but quelled the feeling when she looked her friend in the eye.

Sabrina considered, pretending to think hard on the question.  ”Oh, I think there is something you can look up for me.  It’ll be easy this time.”

Suddenly sitting up, Reyna’s eyes widened and her ears drooped.  ”Why am I afraid to ask what this one will be?”

Without answering, Sabrina stood and dropped a few bills on the table to tip the waitress.  Along with those bills, she dropped a white envelope.  ”Everything you need to know is in there, Rey.”

The envelope was quickly snatched up.  Reyna pulled the paper out and read it then glanced at the back.  It was the letter that brought Sabrina to New Urbania.  ”I don’t understand.  This is the note you were given last week.”

Eyeing her friend, Sabrina nodded.  ”I know.  You know where Shyleah lived.  We both know who D is.  You have two days to figure out how he found her.”

“Two days?” She sounded incredulous and her eyes quickly filled with worry.  Slowly, as she looked up at her, the vixen shook her head. “This’ll take more than two days to do.”

“That’s all the time you have, Rey. Not a minute longer.”  Her voice sounded dark with a harsh edge behind the calm words. “I know you can do it. I’ve seen you do it before for others.”  Something in her tone said she wasn’t going to expect less. “Two days. That’s all you have, Rey, and not a second longer.”

As she turned to leave, Rey lifted her hand to detain her a moment longer.  She couldn’t find the words to speak.  Her confidence in her skill was being put to the test.  There was a shine to the feline’s eyes that said she wasn’t going to be very forgiving if her trusted friend didn’t come through for her.

“We’ll meet here in two days.” Sabrina reminded her. By the time she stepped out into the cold rainy morning, the sky had already started lightening towards day. With a sigh, she looked up at the clouds then pulled her hood up and headed toward the motorcycle.  How she hated the rain.

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